Healing Voices: 988's Impact on Hispanic Men- Spanish

A video message on 988 and the support it has provided for Hispanic men.

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Rough Transcript:

El se metió a la casa y estaba hablando [00:00:00]

con ella como media hora. [00:00:02]

Y pues cuando salió yo no más dijo [00:00:04]

“Date la vuelta” y me esposó. [00:00:07]

Ella salió corriendo. [00:00:09]

Todavía diciéndole al oficial no lo arrestes si no me hizo nada. [00:00:10]

Y el oficial le dijo por lo que haya [00:00:14]

hecho va a ser arrestado. [00:00:17]

El abogado me dijo que podía tardar de ocho meses a un año. [00:00:19]

Y pues que si quería declararme culpable [00:00:24]

Me iban a llevar con migración y me iban a deportar. [00:00:27]

Y yo le dije yo no iba a pagar por [00:00:31]

algo que no había hecho. [00:00:33]

Mi nombre es Javier Meráz [00:00:36]

y llegué a estados unidos por primera vez hace veintiún años [00:00:39]

cruzando la frontera de ilegal. Después de haber llegado acá [00:00:44]

Conseguí un trabajo y me dediqué a trabajar. [00:00:48]

Yo viví con mi mujer nueve años y teníamos tres hijos. [00:00:53]

Y como éramos de diferentes [00:00:58]

culturas yo mexicano ella americana [00:01:02]

pues siempre chocábamos en ciertas cosas. [00:01:05]

La policía asistió [00:01:08]

dijeron que tenía que tenía que separarme porque [00:01:11]

la situación se estaba saliendo de control [00:01:15]

y podía meterme en problemas. [00:01:18]

Yo no quise hacerlo porque yo no quería [00:01:20]

separarme de mis hijos. [00:01:22]

Pero meses después volvió a suceder. [00:01:24]

Y pues yo fui arrestado. Fui encarcelado un año [00:01:28]

y después de un año me procesó migración y me deportaron. [00:01:33]

A mi madre le ocultaron todo el [00:01:37]

año de que yo estaba en la cárcel. [00:01:40]

Yo no sé cómo le habrán hecho pero se le ocultaron. [00:01:45]

Le decían que yo según que yo andaba trabajando como en la [00:01:48]

montaña que no teníamos forma de comunicarnos y cosas así. [00:01:52]

Y por un año no supe nada de ella ni de mí. [00:01:56]

A mi madre pues yo nunca quise decirle porque se sentía un poco como [00:02:00]

algo así como de vergüenza como que fuera a pensar que [00:02:06]

en mi vida como padre de familia [00:02:10]

no estaba funcionando que no sabía llevar la relación [00:02:14]

o no podía solucionar los problemas que tenía. [00:02:17]

No me siento machista. [00:02:21]

Creo que nunca he sido así tan machista [00:02:24]

pero sí tiene uno algo de machismo. [00:02:27]

Hay mucha confusión sobre [00:02:30]

la diferencia entre la masculinidad y el machismo. [00:02:34]

El machismo es algo que tradicionalmente [00:02:37]

si vemos la historia del machismo el ser macho [00:02:41]

era el protector de la familia [00:02:45]

el proveedor de la familia. [00:02:49]

Y bajo esa definición no hay nada malo [00:02:54]

con decir que ese hombre es macho. [00:02:57]

El hombre es genético el macho [00:03:03]

o el machismo es algo que es designado por otras personas. [00:03:08]

El machismo [00:03:09]

realmente es algo bien fuerte en la comunidad latina [00:03:14]

Porque siempre desde pequeño al hombre siempre se le dice [00:03:20]

tú eres hombre tú no llores. [00:03:23]

Tú no puedes demostrar emociones. [00:03:26]

Tú no puedes demostrar sentimientos porque si lo hace [00:03:30]

eso te hace ver débil. [00:03:35]

Ese tipo de patrones a un hombre lo puede llevar a un [00:03:40]

punto de pensar que no tenemos valor que [00:03:44]

que hago yo en este mundo que no quiero estar acá. [00:03:47]

Entonces hay que tener cuidado también en en asegurarnos que [00:03:53]

familiares y seres queridos [00:03:57]

tengan ese espacio para que se sientan cómodos de poder [00:04:01]

hablar con nosotros cuando algo sucede en sus vidas que le [00:04:04]

puede causar ese dolor emocional. [00:04:07]

Después de tres o casi cuatro años de estar separado de mi [00:04:11]

familia encontré la forma de poder regresar [00:04:14]

una vez más para acá. Lo intenté la primera vez y no pude. [00:04:17]

Intente la segunda vez y logré llegar acá [00:04:20]

Y lo primero que hice fue buscar a mis hijos tratar de [00:04:23]

acercarme a ellos recuperarlos. [00:04:27]

Y inicié un pleito de custodia temporal. Ella los abandonó. [00:04:33]

Ella los dejó a casa de su abuela. [00:04:40]

Ella se fue a la calle según a andarse ella divirtiendo [00:04:46]

pasándola bien. [00:04:49]

Y pues cayó en los vicios de las drogas hasta la fecha. [00:04:57]

Todavía ella sigue en la calle. Estábamos en plena terapia [00:05:02]

cuando de repente [00:05:06]

yo recibo una llamada de la escuela diciendo que mi hija [00:05:10]

la mayor había escrito una carta donde decía que [00:05:13]

que ella no podía más que se quería quitar la vida. [00:05:17]

Yo tenía que levantarme y abrir la puerta de cuarto [00:05:22]

asegurarme que ella estuviera en su cuarto. [00:05:25]

Fue muy difícil es muy difícil. [00:05:30]

Pasan por la cabeza muchas cosas. [00:05:36]

Se preocupa uno mucho pero así como me preocupé [00:05:41]

pues me ocupé también. [00:05:45]

Y gracias a Dios no pasó nada. [00:05:54]

Un sheriff fue quien me recomendó Ser Familia. [00:06:00]

Cuando Javier llega aquí a la oficina [00:06:06]

el primer paso es que él entra a través de los case manager [00:06:11]

Los case manager ahí se le hacen unas pruebas [00:06:14]

Se le llena toda la información. [00:06:21]

Una vez que ya tenemos toda la información de él que tenemos [00:06:26]

toda su documentación [00:06:29]

entonces se hace un plan de tratamiento. [00:06:32]

A mi el oficial [00:06:41]

La última vez cuando yo fui que le hablé cuando ella se [00:06:45]

había puesto una navaja en el cuello [00:06:49]

él me había dado un folleto. [00:06:53]

Recuerdo para que yo buscara ayuda [00:06:56]

para que me orientaran. [00:07:00]

Pero pues yo no [00:07:06]

no quise acceder porque uno siempre dice no es que yo [00:07:11]

estoy bien yo estoy bien. [00:07:15]

La que está mal es ella y tal vez estamos mal los dos [00:07:21]

Si alguien está sufriendo de algún reto de salud [00:07:26]

mental si un hombre [00:07:29]

está sufriendo de un reto de salud mental [00:07:32]

espero que escuchen que hoy en día existe ayuda [00:07:37]

para entender qué es lo que está sucediendo [00:07:41]

y para superar lo que está sucediendo. [00:07:45]

Y pueden encontrar ayuda en español. [00:07:50]

El reto que tenemos en no hacerlo es que [00:07:55]

ignorarlo no va a [00:08:00]

hacerlo empeorar y los temas [00:08:05]

van a afectar todos los aspectos de nuestras vidas. [00:08:12]

También se les notifica siempre a los clientes aquí [00:08:17]

que en algún momento que ellos tengan alguna emergencia [00:08:22]

deben de llamar al 988 si son casos [00:08:26]

de querer suicidarse de suicidio [00:08:31]

para que puedan tener la ayuda necesaria y [00:08:34]

puedan por lo menos conversar con alguien. [00:08:40]

Y en ese momento en lo que llega la ayuda [00:08:44]

Ahora yo entiendo mucho a una mamá soltera porque [00:08:49]

yo paso a la misma situación. [00:08:56]

Siempre hay ayuda que hay que dejar el machismo a un lado [00:09:00]

y que enfocarse a sus hijos [00:09:04]

especialmente en esas edades de los 12 13 14 [00:09:09]

porque a veces sufren bullying o a veces [00:09:14]

tienen diferentes inquietudes o [00:09:17]

son de diferente cultura porque uno es mexicano y ellos [00:09:21]

crecieron acá y creen que las cosas [00:09:24]

que uno está haciendo son malas. [00:09:28]

Y hasta que no busque una ayuda profesional [00:09:32]

el niño puede entender realmente la situación y [00:09:36]

poder evitar ese tipo de accidentes. [00:09:40]

Si tú o alguien que conoces necesita ayuda ahora [00:09:44]

llama o textea al 988 o chatea en línea988.org [00:09:48]

Approximate English translation:

He went into the house and was talking to her for about half an hour. [00:00:00]

And when he came out he just said [00:00:04]

“Turn around” and he handcuffed me. [00:00:07]

She ran out. [00:00:09]

She was still saying to the officer “Do not arrest him he hasn’t done anything." [00:00:10]

And the officer told her “For whatever he did” [00:00:14]

he was going to be arrested. [00:00:17]

The lawyer told me it could take eight months to a year. [00:00:19]

And if I wanted to plead guilty [00:00:24]

immigration would come for me and I would be deported. [00:00:27]

And I told him I wasn't going to plead guilty [00:00:31]

to something I hadn't done. [00:00:33]

My name is Javier Meráz [00:00:36]

and I first came to the United States a year ago [00:00:39]

crossing the border illegally. After coming here [00:00:44]

I got a job and I dedicate myself to work. [00:00:48]

I lived with my wife for nine years and we had three children. [00:00:53]

And since we were from different [00:00:58]

cultures me Mexican her American [00:01:02]

We always disagreed on certain things. [00:01:05]

The police came. [00:01:08]

They said I had to divorce because [00:01:11]

the situation was getting out of control [00:01:15]

and I could get into trouble. [00:01:18]

I didn't want to do it because I didn't want to be [00:01:20]

separated from my children. [00:01:22]

But months later it happened again. [00:01:24]

And so I was arrested I was jailed for a year [00:01:28]

and after a year immigration processed me and deported me. [00:01:33]

They (his family) hid everything to my mother about [00:01:37]

I was in jail for a year. [00:01:40]

I don't know how they did it but they hid it from her. [00:01:45]

They told me that according to them I was working in the [00:01:48]

mountains that we had no way to communicate and things like that. [00:01:52]

And for a year I didn’t know anything about her and she about me. [00:01:56]

Well I never wanted to tell anything to my mother because it felt a bit like [00:02:00]

kind of shameful like she might think that [00:02:06]

in my life as a family man [00:02:10]

it wasn't working that I didn't know how to handle the relationship [00:02:14]

or couldn't solve the problems I had. [00:02:17]

I don't feel I am macho. [00:02:21]

I don't think I've ever been that macho [00:02:24]

but one does have some machismo. [00:02:27]

There's a lot of confusion about [00:02:30]

the difference between masculinity and machismo. [00:02:34]

Machismo is something that traditionally [00:02:37]

if we look at the history of machismo being macho [00:02:41]

was the protector of the family [00:02:45]

the provider for the family. [00:02:49]

And under that definition there's nothing wrong [00:02:54]

with saying that a man is macho. [00:02:57]

Man is genetic macho [00:03:03]

or machismo is something that is designated by other people. [00:03:08]

Machismo [00:03:09]

is actually quite strong in the Latino community [00:03:14]

Because always from a young age men are always told [00:03:20]

"you're a man don't cry." [00:03:23]

"You can't show emotions." [00:03:26]

"You can't show feelings because if you do [00:03:30]

it makes you look weak." [00:03:35]

Such patterns can lead a man to [00:03:35]

think that we have no value that [00:03:40]

"what am I doing in this world that I don't want to be here." [00:03:44]

So we have to be careful also to ensure that [00:03:47]

family and loved ones [00:03:53]

have that space to feel comfortable [00:03:57]

talking to us when something happens in their lives that causes them [00:04:01]

emotional pain. [00:04:04]

Then after three or almost four years of being separated from my [00:04:07]

family I found a way to come back here again. [00:04:11]

I tried the first time and I couldn’t. [00:04:14]

I tried for the second time and I made it [00:04:17]

And the first thing I did was look for my children I tried to [00:04:20]

get closer to them recover them. [00:04:23]

And I started a temporary custody battle. She abandoned them. [00:04:27]

She left them at her grandmother's house. [00:04:33]

She went to the streets supposedly to have fun [00:04:40]

enjoying herself. [00:04:46]

And so she fell into drug addiction until now. [00:04:49]

She's still out on the streets. We were in the midst of therapy [00:04:57]

when suddenly [00:05:02]

I received a call from the school saying that my daughter [00:05:06]

the oldest had written a letter saying that [00:05:10]

she couldn't do it anymore that she wanted to end her life. [00:05:13]

I had to get up and make sure the door to her room was open [00:05:17]

make sure she was already in her room. [00:05:22]

It was very hard it's very hard. [00:05:25]

Many things go through your head. [00:05:30]

You worry a lot but just as I worried [00:05:36]

I also took action. [00:05:41]

And thanks to God nothing happened. [00:05:45]

A sheriff recommended me to Ser Familia [00:05:54]

When Javier comes here to the office [00:06:00]

The first step was that he came in through the case managers. [00:06:06]

The case managers do some tests on him [00:06:11]

All his information is filled out. [00:06:14]

Once we have all the information from him that we have [00:06:21]

all his documentation [00:06:26]

Then a treatment plan is made. [00:06:29]

The officer [00:06:32]

The last time I went when I talked to him when she [00:06:41]

had put a knife to her throat [00:06:45]

He had given me a brochure. [00:06:49]

I remember so that I could seek help [00:06:53]

to guide me. [00:06:56]

But well I didn't [00:07:00]

I didn't want to access it because one always says "I am fine [00:07:06]

I am fine." [00:07:11]

The one who is wrong is her and maybe the two of us are wrong. [00:07:15]

If someone is suffering from a mental health challenge [00:07:21]

if a man [00:07:26]

is suffering from a mental health challenge [00:07:29]

I hope they hear that there is help available today [00:07:32]

to understand what is happening [00:07:37]

and to overcome what is happening. [00:07:41]

And they can find help in Spanish. [00:07:45]

The challenge we face in not doing so is that [00:07:50]

ignoring it will [00:07:55]

make it worse and the issues [00:08:00]

will affect all aspects of our lives. [00:08:05]

Clients are also always notified here [00:08:12]

that at any moment they have an emergency [00:08:17]

they must call 988 if there are cases [00:08:22]

of people wanting to commit suicide [00:08:26]

so they can have the necessary help and [00:08:31]

at least talk to someone. [00:08:34]

While the help arrives. [00:08:40]

Now I understand a lot about a single mom because [00:08:44]

I went through the same situation. [00:08:49]

There is always help we must leave machismo aside [00:08:56]

and focus on our children [00:09:00]

especially in those ages 12 13 14 [00:09:04]

because sometimes they suffer bullying or sometimes [00:09:09]

they have different concerns or [00:09:14]

they are from a different culture because I am Mexican but they [00:09:17]

grew up here and they believe that [00:09:21]

what I am doing is bad. [00:09:24]

And until they seek professional help [00:09:28]

the child may not truly understand the situation and [00:09:32]

may be able to avoid such accidents. [00:09:36]

If you or someone you know needs help [00:09:40]

call or text or chat online in linea988.org [00:09:44]